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simple piece for triangle & drum

by sonja berlin-jones

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simple piece for triangle & drum 26:00

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THURSDAY 17 JANUARY

This piece is as dull as its title suggests. A real dozer. It's a classy example of Sonja's First Rule Of Music - "everything gets worse". It's no good starting with shit and expecting you will improve it and end up with something beautiful. It never happens. Things always deteriorate. It is why I am a hyperminimalist.

I believe in hyperminimal intervention. The less a musician does the less bad things get. It is why I almost always do nothing. People think that because I am the third most prolific musician on Bandcamp that I must be very industrious. In fact - I am probably the third laziest musician on Bandcamp or on the whole planet. It's because I do so little that I end up with so much. So with this piece I hit a drum and tinkled a triangle and for ten seconds I thought I was going to write Music For 18 Musicians Part 2.

No way jose !!! I was lucky to get out of it as unterrible as I did - though it is still terrible. However it is perfect for yoga and meditation and for boring hipsters who think that boring music is healthy. Actually I sometimes think that myself. Now for some astonishing news - I have become a professional. Yes I have become a Bandcamp Pro. For ten dollars a month I can now mingle with the other professional musicians.

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But I think I've got this wrong somehow. In most walks of life "professional" means you get paid. In my own case it means that I have to pay. Never mind - it is another step towards me becoming a proper musician. I don't want to go to gigs and have to mix with the riffraff on the sidelines - those gorgeous sexy hunky washboard-bellied students and the interesting old men - I want to be in with the ponytailed and shaven-headed blokes discussing Ableton and talking about all their exciting previous gigs staring at a laptop on stage boring everyone tit-less.

I expect you too have heard about that gig in Bristol recently where an audience member sent an email via mobile phone to the musician on stage and without interrupting his gig the musician replied. Rock'n'roll !!! I had got my wires crossed with this Bandcamp Pro thing. I'd thought that it meant you could upload larger files - and that I could now explore new territories of four-hour hyperminimalist masterpieces. But actually no. That doesn't came as part of the Pro deal. You need to sell some music first before you can do that. Imagine - me selling music !!!! - ha ha ha - oh we do have fun here don't we. Wild times.

So I am still limited to around 28 minutes. And if you are crazy enough to stream this piece of music you might think I ought to be limited to 28 seconds. The only advantage to me of being a proper Pro so far is that I have been invited to start a Bandcamp fan page or something. You probably know more about this than I do. But that won't stop me from pontificating expertly on the subject. I think it's a terrific idea. It's always been the most glaring omission from Bandcamp that you can't just click something easy on your favourite musician's page and then be notified every time she he they does something new. Sure sure - there is Twitter and Facebook and Tumbler etc etc but I don't thrive in any of those networks.

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And many others don't either. And there seem to be feeds - which no one understands. I am all or nothing. Either a click or a ten-thousand-word essay. The new Bandcamp fancamp pagecamp thingy deserves to do well. It won't be any good to me because I don't want money and I don't want fans - the unanswered emails - and the thought that these people liked what you've done so far so you'd better keep on churning out more of the same to avoid upsetting them. Fortunately none of my three fans seem to live in the same country as me or even the same continent - so there's little chance of a "Misery" scenario.

But all the same - you never feel as free as when you are starting afresh with nothing and no one and you have the brilliant stimulus of thinking "why isn't the rest of the world aware of what a genius I am ?" - that is a beautiful freedom. I have started to notice the faces of "supporters" on various Bandcamp pages - and this is terrific. It would really appeal to the younger me - instead of wearing badges and t-shirts - to see my face on e.g. the Led Zeppelin Bandcamp page - fantastic. It is a stroke of genius as a way of giving music-downloads a value - and a reason to pay for them. Despite my irritating scorched-earth year-zero punk-bloomin-rawk attitood - there is no problem with the idea of paying for a CD or tape or getting into a gig.

But some of us just have a mental block about why/how downloads should cost money. I know I know - it's as daft as saying Why should I pay to ride on this train when it would be running just the same without me on it? I can think of several Bandcamp musicians whose music I would pay to download just to get my beautiful face staring out from under their album art. And one or two where I'd want a photograph of my bare muso arse under their album art. No no - only joshing. Life is brilliant and it's all getting better.

STOP PRESS - I've just played the first eight minutes of this and actually it is rather good.

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released January 17, 2013

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sonja berlin-jones Southampton, UK

katharinebeastman.bandcamp.com

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