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collective unconscious gets solo

by sonja berlin-jones

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1.
peak alpha 08:06
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2.
peak beta 14:17
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3.
peak gamma 11:32
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about

When the currents are slow and the day has staled I go to see my friends - they say ""next" and "paying by card?" and "next please" and "another one here" and "paying by card?" and "NEXT" and "next please" and when I head the queue I feel nervous - am I going to do something silly? - am I going to miss an obvious opportunity and have someone behind me tell me ? - or worse, will they jump ahead of me with their smug superiority and make me feel suicidal for the rest of the day ? - and oh the peace of finally getting to a till and being able to go at my own speed - but the red light will always flash and someone will have to come - oh it's not my fault it's really not my fault, please believe me, I scanned everything as well as I could, I tried to get an A+, I always try to fit in, try never to be a nuisance, try never even to be noticed. I pack it all away and walk off, doing that check over the shoulder just to check I've got it all - everything everyone could possibly ever need. And I go across to a bin and unwrap some bit of junk to eat on the walk home and look back at the people at the tills and in lines and how wonderfully we've all been trained. Even just 20 years ago what I'm looking at would be the stuff of a dystopian film. Except it turns out that today isn't dystopia - it is arcadia, we've reached paradise at last, a world where no one need fear death, I don't fear the death of anyone I know or anyone I don't because we aren't worth it - I go home and join the queue when I just want to turn around - go to that high hill, its sun-warmed slope, alone on the heather or with you, thinking this could be forever, out of reach, away from everyone, timeless and ordinary again.

recorded today, photo Battersea Park a few weeks ago

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released March 7, 2023

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sonja berlin-jones Southampton, UK

katharinebeastman.bandcamp.com

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