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hyperminimal hadj for a day before doreen carwithen

by sonja berlin-jones

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Oh dear here is that pressure to say a lot when really I have almost nothing to say. So the least boring things to say are: yesterday at Wigmore Hall I risked feeling a bit queasy because they were celebrating World Womens Day and the lunchtime concert was 5 pieces of music by modern women, mostly alive. The whole hour could be released as a Bjork album and few would be surprised. Except perhaps by the second piece - Doreen Carwithen's first string quartet. It was of course played by the Tippett Quartet and of course it sounded very Tippetty. I absolutely loved it - for me this "English"-ness is now a passed phase, probably not so great while it was happening, but beautiful in retrospect. I'm at the age when the only happiness worth anything is the happiness I feel while it is happening, and now that I no longer drink or am addicted to anything really, I almost never feel it. Only during the sudden moments of rapture that come out of nowhere and can last for hours while out on a long solitary walk.

Last Sunday I tried walking from Waterloo to Dartford. But my heart wasn't in it. Things need to be spontaneous - I need to expect to be bored, and then to be wrong. I sit right in front of the singer, glasses perched on my head - she isn't there during the SQ, which stretches from about 12'20" to 33'00" in the video, which I have now downloaded for a day that will probably never happen, and already the Amazony CDs are in the post, and I probably will never hear those either, having this morning downloaded about 40 hours of music from Bandcamp - just another typical day in the life of someone who thinks they're slowly falling out of love with music, but really it's all the time I waste around being a music fan, the time when I don't have time to hear music, that's what's stopping me.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJjsmPbEYqw&t=1535s

the video will only be there for 30 days

recorded yesterday morning, photo Hythe a week or two ago

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released March 9, 2023

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sonja berlin-jones Southampton, UK

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