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the birdman of hastings

by sonja berlin-jones

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the birdman of hastings 26:17
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FRIDAY 21 DECEMBER

Yes thank you I am humbled - thank you so much for coming - I was alarmed to see that one recent visitor to this Bandcamp page had arrived here by Googling my name and the term "shaved penis". Sir - or madam - if that was you - I am fascinated - and I apologise for not giving you what you were probably looking for.

Perhaps one of my future albums will be called Shaved Penis. Not so much now, but years ago, people would often complain that my music went on too long. It was a polite way of saying they didn't like it. But I know what they meant. I've always gone too far. Too quiet or too noisy. Here is the main reason I go on so long - it is to give the listener time to adjust to my way of doing things.

I never use compression or equalisation or any kind of la-di-dah mastering/post-production whatsoever. And this means that to most people my music sounds "wrong". Incredible. And it takes them a while to adjust. It's a bit like a kid going to a multiplex to see the latest Tolkien and putting on the 3-D spex in front of the mile-wide screen and then finding that the film's in black-and-white and in Spanish and displayed on a TV screen.

They cry. They stamp. But after a while they get immersed into the film and forget it's black-and-white etc. That is what my music is all about. It is usually too quiet. So you strain to hear it. Then you forget that you are straining. It sounds genuinely lofi - not the posh lofi of Jack White & Co. But the genuine lofi of Sonja B-J. By the end of one of my pieces you will be attuned to my world.

I will almost have hypnotised you. Then you will go back to listening to your dreadful indie rock that Pitchfork has told you is brilliant - and for a while it won't sound brilliant at all. Don't worry. It's not permanent. You will soon be back in the herd again - jabbering away about the same bands as everyone else with your intriguing opinions designer-tweaked to be ever-so-fascinatingly at odds with the consensus in an "interesting" but acceptable way.

Today's masterpiece from Lady Sonja-Lofi is a bit of drone-ambient - I never know the difference - it might even be noise - it depends where your volume knob is I suppose - back to the shaved penis - It comes in three waves and during a couple of the quieter bits I got worried that you'd be feeling a bit tired so I played a bit of gentle repetitive unromantic piano to tip you over the edge into a deeeep sleep. Like I say - it's all hypnotism. You will wake up and maybe believe you can fly and I'll have lost another fan.

As for the title. Socially I'm not much of a hit in the music world. I really know nothing about music and don't feel relaxed in the company of people who do. I'm always frightened I'll get rumbled. But outside the music world I am in great demand.

Away from the nerdy world of music - in the big non-anal fuck-up that is planet-laugh - I go down very well and this being Christmas I am often out talking the party talk and yesterday morning I met a friend's relative for the first time and he was from Hastings and while we were talking his mobile phone rang and he answered it and while he was talking to it another phone started ringing and it was his second mobile phone which he also answered and he had a phone in each hand and was talking into them simultaneously with his hands to his cheeks and he looked like a silly child and then he turned into a kind of bird and this made a big impression on me - you can see why I am so artistic - that such a little thing can inspire me to make such a large beautiful piece of music.

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released December 21, 2012

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sonja berlin-jones Southampton, UK

katharinebeastman.bandcamp.com

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